We divide the world into science and supernatural: Sodium

When Silicon first smiled at me, I could already sense her destiny. While great uncle Helium had cast the spell that brought back spring, we still needed summer and winter. As you well know, Silicon succeeded in fixing that, and returning to your world the variety of flora and fauna that you take for granted. Perhaps it was because of this natural beauty she brought back that you did not target her as viciously as we others - though I am not naive enough to believe you hate her any less, and I assume it is just a question of resources and priorities.

Whereas Phosphorous is the closest thing you come to actual grudging acceptance. My son would later remark to me that he felt a little left out, with not a single time travelling assassin targeting him, and the only violent incidents he was subjected to were those where other family members were also present. It is amusing, as Phosphorous himself would be the first to admit his contribution, while significant, was certainly the most easily ignored - evidently you enjoy your soap operas, your designer skinny jeans, and your rock music too much. That, too, is a weakness.

Week 26, Day 2, Silicon (who will lift Naturalist via the base game method) and Phosphorous (Entertainment via Stylist) are born. Carbon is still plodding along at 81 days old (the minimum elder age is 68, so this is quite impressive, if annoying).

Father's death affected us very little, of course, as his experiment was to see how long we could live before old age took us. The answer, as you well know, is a long time - even without magical assistance, which we certainly employ. You yourselves are largely unaware of your natural lifespans, as my family has gifted you with the means to overcome them and remain eternally young. Gratitude is not the human species forte.

Carbon made it to 81 days old (compared to the 68 minimum).

As my infants began to walk and talk, you tried to take their mother away from them. Laughably, with some sort of poison tipped dart. I hope you weren't too astonished when it reversed direction and slew the assassin - but my father's security arrangements are very thorough.

Week 26, Day 4. Toddler training commences.

I still don't know exactly what was intended to occur on what your propaganda sheets refer to as "the night of chaos". Nickolas had just returned from the library with some ideas on reinforcing building structures. Evidently you saw something there that we never intended - but if you are constantly terrified of your own shadow, you will be forced to fear ghosts both metaphorical and literal.

Handiness 10, first requirement for Architect, sorted.

Once we had Magnesium's spy network operating, we were able to protect ourselves in more subtle fashions. That is why ever since you have never managed to plan an attack without our family being forewarned. We are everywhere.

Espionage lifted, with 21/35 cases. Some of the cases had to be abandoned as broken, but most of them work. I immediately signed up Silicon for Scouts and Phosphorus for Ballet.

I am surprised that you were never able, even after the fact, to impede my husband Nick's accomplishments. Perhaps it was because he took a circuitous route to his objective. Do you know, even now, what that objective was?

Level 6 Politics, and Charisma 10. 3/7 Architect requirements done. (Note that I only actually needed level 5, but it's OK to overdo it). I accidentally closed the popup for Charisma 10.

I have fond memories of my children as teens. Your assassination attempts were far too crude to spoil them.

The twins are now teens - Week 28, Day 4.

But I was discussing my husband. I have examined the propaganda you produce, hacked into your networks, and scoured the audio and video footage we have of your "secret" bases. I conclude that you either do not understand what my husband achieved, or that you are so grateful for his achievements that you cannot bring yourself to condemn him. Nickolas has a great sense of humour - he would wish me to tell you how vastly you amuse him.

Week 28, Day 5 - 4/7 Architect complete.

If you're wondering how we know everything about you - we have many sources. But perhaps the most reliable is my twin. Magnesium knows everybody, and everybody talks to him. Some of them voluntarily. But all of them talk.

Week 29, Day 1. Magnesium completes his life time wish and leaves the household.

The graveyard is a dangerous place for the living, especially since we have many magical traps there - necessary, since Silicon needed to do some in depth study. Apparently you are not quite as stupid as you look, since - generally speaking - you avoided trying to ambush Silicon in the graveyard.

Naturalist, 1/4 requirements met. It is important to note that this is completely legal. The rule is that a YA or older can take this job regardless of other restrictions. A teen must obey any restrictions, but as it happens no such restrictions currently apply (Master Thief, Espionage, and - since she doesn't have 10 Athletics - also Forensics; all are lifted).

On the same day (Week 30, Day 1) just after midnight Nickolas maxxed Painting, so that's 5/7 Architect. (If you're wondering why that screenshot is clearly Writing rather than Painting, then perhaps you need to try writing Comic Books).

To be fair, using time travel is the worst form of hypocrisy anyway. The only reason time travel even works is because we managed to figure out how to do it, and if you really hated us as much as you say you do, you'd go back and stop Hydrogen's creation. But no, you won't do that - too risky, you say, too much chance of a paradox. Worthless sophistry, you are fooling nobody.

That's 6/7 Architect. I just need a hit Non Fiction novel now.

One of the reasons your bodies are so frail is because you pamper them. Yes, we certainly take advantage of our magic to extend lifespans, but we do so only after many years. There is nothing to be afraid of in old age - it is only with real physical age that you minds can learn true wisdom. But of course you will ignore this advice, and sign up for a youth treatment as soon as you see your first grey hair.

Week 30, Day 4, the twins are young adults and Sodium is an elder. Silicon immediately joins Science and Phosphorous joins the Stylist profession. Silicon has Perfect Garden LTW, Phosphorous has Fashion Phenomenon. I could send them to University, but that's a time trade off that doesn't work - a minimum of a week, for a maximum of 3 levels of promotion, which is entirely gettable within that week. Note that the timing of this is unfortunate; I cannot yet buy plant pots or gardening rugs, because Architect is not yet lifted, and since it is winter I cannot plant outside either.

I myself often let my body age gracefully. You may think this makes me vulnerable. Perhaps it does. It is of no import; at your best, you could not harm me on my worst day.

And that's Architect, week 30 day 5. I have Nickolas move out, and buy some soil

But I suppose I must be grateful that you largely ignore my children. For whatever your motives, know that occasionally I advocate mercy on that basis.

The only remaining objectives for Naturalist are the plants and the fish. I have sufficient plants after a cycle or two to make it; so far I have 5/13 perfect fish types. It is Week 32, Day 6.

Without Silicon, your food would be nutrient packets. Essentially, she helps keep you alive.

Week 33, Day 4, Naturalist is lifted.

And without Phosphorous, you would have no true music, no entertainment, no fashion. Essentially, he makes it worth staying alive.

We are the Elementals. We were born from a mad scientist, and we were hated and feared. Our coming heralded the end of days. Nobody could have blamed us if we had simply regained our powers and returned to our own dimension. Instead we stayed, not only repairing the damage but elevating those who had sought to exploit us to heights of civilisation they had never dreamt of. And still, we are hated and feared.

But we are used to it. Now and forever.

Finally, Entertainment is lifted, on Week 34, Day 7. I do not recommend using the Stylist method; it took ages to get from 9 to 10.

With Entertainment lifted, the apocalypse has ended. So how did I do?

• Base points: 25 (all restrictions including Alien Technology)
• Bonus points: 174
• 43 books = 4 points
• 60 points in various collectibles for Amazing Naturalist
• 26 points for Admiral Adonis (17 household Sims with 10 Athletics - all the bloodline, many of the spouses - and 3 other trained Sims)
• 27 points for skill challenges (3 Athletics, 5 Charisma, 1 Cooking, 1 Fishing, 3 Gardening, 2 Handiness, 3 Logic, 3 Painting, 3 Street Art, 3 Writing)
• 15 unique lifetime wants (all of the bloodline, a couple of spouses)
• 7 gnomes (Mysterious Mr Gnome, Evil Mr Gnome, Bucktooth Butternutt, sGnomeman BitterTotter, Cranstan Boonitz, Graduation Gnome, Master Manchu - many of these were mined)
• Over $2 million, so 10 points in Money.
• No aging off days used, so 10 points there.
• Prestige Points: 75
• 25 Prestige Uni Start
• 50 Prestige Occult (Genies)
• 2 bloopers (placing the gyspy wagon and movie studio after the start of the game); no penalty points.

That easily gives me a perfect score of 220. Adding in 28 days of Uni, the challenge took 265 days (and it feels like the last 200 were on Stylist). Good luck in your own challenges!

They see your every move: Sodium

I have made a study of your species. I believe you cannot be faulted for most of your atrocities; you are largely the product of genetic determination. Lacking magic you have no true free will, and are unable to really distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, selfishness or altruism - you are little more than beasts.

I know this, because my father Carbon once had similar symptoms. His once fine mind was now barely able to function at all, though he remained physically healthy. Too much magic? Some sort of interaction with the "alien" technology he managed to trade for? It was something I, Sodium, determined to find a cure for. But it wasn't just premature senility, of course - while we genies are remarkably resistant to pathogens, the same could not be said for your kind. Reading this, you know of diseases primarily as historical curiosities, but that is my doing. Your kind died of many preventable conditions before I began my research. Scoff if you must, but your time travellers - those that are not immediately terminated - must know the truth.

Carbon is now an elder on Week 22, Day 2. I plan to have him die of old age, so he'll be around for a while. The other three adults are basically hanging around to help train the teens.

I also had some more luck. With 11k LTR points to go with only 3 days, I had basically written off Oxygen as being able to be a large tombstone - and then I got a 5 750 opportunity to become the owner of 5 businesses (easy, I already had 4) plus a few gem cutting wishes, and bang! 150k.

Even Neon was getting close, so I had her go back and forth to the future 8 times until she picked up Time Paradox Sickness. (Be careful with this. I had several involuntary Sims Resets for the other Sims when I time travelled; I took snapshots of their current needs bars in order to correct them each time).

To properly study the phenomenon, I began while still a teen. I needed a fresh corpse to study with - probably multiple such corpses. Since no humans would be willing to volunteer for such a project, my own family became my subjects, beginning with uncle Oxygen, who died of starvation so that I could study the effects of a nutritionally deprived specimen.

Oxygen dies of Starvation. That is 3 large tombstones.

Aunt Neon attempted to short circuit the need for research by travelling to the future and bringing back the answers - but the time paradox almost erased her from existence. It took very powerful magic to bring her back.

Neon dies of a Time Paradox. No corpse is left behind in this case - they just fade from existence - but I still get the urn (which I of course moved outside next to the others).

But of course, this is not how you know me. You call me the Bio Terrorist, I believe, along with several less polite adjectives. You accuse me of creating the very pathogens I sought to cure, of spreading poison in your water supply, of forcing an epidemic hidden behind the guise of vaccination.

In some ways, I wish I could have just let you suffer. Our kind is largely immune to the conditions that plague humanity - the icy cold winters do not touch us, and even fire cannot burn us. So why did I waste my time curing diseases that could never hurt a genie, producing burn treatments, and purifying drinking water?

These are questions I ask myself - have asked myself, from the day of my 18th birthday.

Sodium is a YA, and immediately joins the Medical career, on Week 23, Day 2. She is Ambitious, Athletic, Genius, Slob, Workaholic; her skills are Athletics 10, Charisma 2, Logic 10, Painting 3, Writing 6. At the moment of transition she has earned 50k LTR points total; her LTW is to be a World Renowned Surgeon.

A couple of days later, Magnesium joins the Private Investigator profession and Aluminium joins the Video Game career (to lift Espionage and Forensics respectively). I gave Magnesium the LTW Pervasive Private Eye (which is apparently a mistake, as apparently 35 cases is a lot. Shrug) and Aluminium gets (and immediately lifts) the LTW Living in the Lap of Luxury. I also have Rachel move out, as she is now very much surplus to requirements.

Magnesium's job brings him into contact with lots of people. Where legal (ie not elders) I have him make friends with them, and then haul them home for Adonis training. Ensorcel Sim works well here, as you can force them into Good Pacing once they have Athletics 3 and have comparatively long work outs. (Requires Paranormal, of course).

I don't mean to suggest I cured everything. Aluminium, in her roundabout fashion, managed to improve the graphics of existing computer technology to the point where the games you play actually prevent premature senility. Even we genies used to suffer from that before her efforts. We are a family; I take no credit for my sister's achievements. In the end as father always says - that is our advantage. Our bonds are of blood, yours merely of convenience - and thus easily broken.

Forensics lifted, Week 25, Day 5. Honestly thought Carbon would be dead by now, but at 77 days old he's still around, despite the fact I've kept him mostly starving and without any social contact. With Forensics lifted he is now controllable - huh.

But my own achievements were no less impressive. False modesty serves nobody; you live, extended lifespans, free of disease and parasites, because of me. Because of Sodium Elemental, the one that you have tried and failed to kill more times than I care to count.

Later the same day, Medical lifted. This unlocks the last of the genie powers; as you can see Sodium (and Magnesium) have been singed for quite a while (playing with the chemistry set as teens), but now they can just magically clean themselves, or the entire house. Although this does not removed Singed, apparently.

The penultimate generation, you call us, and it appears that you reserved much of your hatred for my siblings and me. Even Nickolas - the last bound genie to be summoned - largely escaped your ire.

The lamp reveals a male genie - which is handy for story purposes, having narrated this as if Sodium was the heir. Nickolas has no skills, of course, but his traits are Absent-Minded-Athletic, Charismatic, Great Kisser, Party Animal. I decide on Architect, via the base game method, for his restriction.

Perhaps the explanation is simpler. Perhaps you simply fear my children.

Married in, gotten a start on his various skills (via classes) and into Politics. Next generation en-route. Also moved out Aluminium as no longer useful.

Food For Thought: Carbon

It was a journey. It began with an innocent victim, and it ended with the descendants of that victim bearing no malice against the perpetrators, but rather undoing their own damage.

Gratitude was the one thing we lacked. But then, I suppose you are only human.

A lot of days off here for Carbon, but he's still on the path - one more promotion will get to Science 4. Oxygen (hanging around primarily to see if I can get him to 150k) is a Technophobe, who I have sabotage computers for Carbon to fix.

You humans have a saying - "Fight fire with fire." That's always seemed stupid to me - surely water is a better thing to fight fire with - but fine, whatever. There was crime - so much crime. People were forced to turn over everything they earned to the mob - until Nitrogen pulled off the ultimate long con. The details are in his autobiography - not that I imagine you believe it - but every time you walk the streets safely, that's because of us.

Well, you're not safe. Of course you're not. We hunt traitors. But you're a traitor by choice, and all you have to do is stop being a traitor. Ever tried that?

Week 18, Day 7, Criminal is lifted. I don't really know whether this is easier or harder than the "traditional" way, but it does largely avoid any promotion bugs. (Charisma can be difficult to get though, compared to the Criminal career where you simply have to get Athletics).

Other than the "no more protection" aspect, this allows me to do a chair upgrade.

Sometimes it takes the innocence of a child to really understand exactly what is at stake. You feel hunted. But in the past your kind were the hunters. We did what we had to - we had the right to survive. And we do not begrudge you that right as well. Indeed, my daughter Sodium, who you have tried to murder approximately a thousand times, is the reason that not all of the injuries you receive in these futile attempts are fatal.

Sodium is born. Without Medical no Fertility Treatment, and so all I have to try for multiples is working out to the kids channel. I am of course doing that, but it is clearly not enough. So Sodium will lift Medical.

It's because you're human, isn't it? You lack our powers, and you just can't stand it. How it must grate on you then. Because so many of you thrilled to Neon's illusions, you started to believe in magic. And that was the door that we needed to open - we could never have done it ourselves. With trickery, Neon finally opened the doors for us to start using our magic once more - even though it was later before we learned the proper spells - and it was all thanks to you humans. Do you call your own kind traitor then?

Paranormal lifted, Week 19, Day 1. I do a bed upgrade (Scholarly Slumber seems the best choice), and grab up all the tombstones except for Lithium's into Neon's inventory. The skill challenge is the same day.

A few days later, Week 19 Day 2, Carbon gets to Fertiliser Analyst and then immediately switches to the Medical career. He has 19 days until he is an elder, and I can (and will) use the rest of the family to help collect stuff. (In a sense I have to, since without Espionage it has to be an escort job). While the next day:

My other daughter Aluminium, and my son Magnesium, were no less hunted. This is especially galling given what they ended up accomplishing - did you really want to revert back to a lawless society of premature senility? Apparently so, but fortunately for you we will never let you succeed.

Magnesium and Aluminium are born.

I have pairs of Sims (usually Neon and either either Oxygen or Nitrogen) scour around for gems and metals. Then I visit the consignment shop, hoping for a martial arts board; instead, there is a Miner there for sale. I buy it, since previous experience suggests to me this is the best way to find a giant space rock. This happens on the day (Week 19, Day 6) that the medical requirement for Carbon is met, so I have him join Law Enforcement. Sodium also becomes a child.

We took on tremendous tasks for you. The quest to recover our power was your quest, really - after all, the experiment for a free genie was certainly nothing our kind ever conceived off. And it required sacrifice - even comparatively recently, we were still making sacrifices.

Score one for the miner, Week 20 Day 1. I've still yet to (ever) find one of these "in the wild". Sure, you get them as part of a meteor strike, but if you have a meteor strike then AT is already sorted. To players without Ambitions... my sympathies?

Electrocution is a nasty way to go, but Nitrogen deliberated chose this as his path to the netherworld. It's true, we'd already figured out how to come back at that point - but I wonder how many of you would have the courage to do as we did, even if you knew it wasn't necessarily the end.

I actually don't have to wonder; we've caught enough of you and listened to your impassioned terror to know the answer.

That's the second big tombstone. I had Oxygen (a Technophobe) sabotage the television, so that I could put in the bathroom (surrounded by water thanks to a fortunate leaking sink) and have Nitrogen (with 0 Handiness) repair it. The first time it started a fire that he put out instantly - genies are immune, so that was no good. But the second time he got electrocuted, as desired.

The day after that (Week 20, Day 4) Carbon becomes a Patrol Officer. I now "only" need the gems and the metals.

For some reason, you seemed to abate your attacks once Sodium became a teenager - at least for a while. I can understand that you probably fear her less than the others. That's your mistake; while a sweet child, her pleasant exterior masks a ruthlessness matched only by her grandmother.

Week 21, Day 2. Sodium is now a teen. AT progress: I have both the gems, but neither of the metals. Carbon has 6 days; hopefully I will get them in time. Sodium is Ambitious, Athletic, Genius, Slob; her skills are Athletics 3, Logic 8, Writing 4.

Perhaps you are afraid because, for you, cooking is a dangerous experience. You poor babies might burn yourself, lacking the ability to summon it from the ether the way Rachel taught us.

But I know why you really hate us. It's not about the magic. You could get around that.

No, it's that we beat you at your own game. Or specifically, I did. Humans were always the ones that "should" have conquered other worlds, but the visitors were already here.

Culinary lifted. In this case this is just flat out awesome, since now my genies can summon whatever food they like, no cooking required. That's the good news. The bad news is it is Week 21, Day 7, and Carbon has only 2 days until he is an elder; I have still yet to find Plutonium anywhere. France has Plutonium that is (relatively) easy to find, and it may be that I have to wait until I can go there, but I'm hoping against hope that I'll score it at the catacombs or in the one spawn point that actually seems to occasionally work (though thus far it has yielded only Palladium and Silver).

You called them "aliens", but they were not really aliens in the sense you mean it. True, they weren't human either - anymore.

You see, we did experiments of our own. In the same way that humans wanted a free genie, we wanted humans that we didn't have to constantly battle to accept the tremendous beneficence we bestowed. With magic and technology, we started the process on a colony we placed on Luna, shortly after I'd started my satellite trips. It took a while, but eventually these post-humans began to take control of their own evolution, far surpassing our hopes for them, and they were all too willing to share their own insights.

And no sooner had I typed the above than Neon finally found some in the catacombs.

Now, I don't want to oversell this. Because of the complete focus on Alien Technology neither Neon nor Oxygen had time to pursue wishes and get to 150k. (Oxygen needs 12k and has only 4 days; Neon needs 18k and has only 7). So that's not ideal, but Carbon is fine (178k with 1 day to go)

Anyway - Carbon has a quick tour and then Alien Technology is lifted.

Loving the Alien: Carbon

Mum's death was our first Netherworld Marker. I hear you losers were trying to target that - I find that more amusing than threatening. You pukes are laughable - I'd tell you to drop and give me twenty, but I don't want a dozen heart attacks on my conscience - it's a pain to get out of the carpet.

We didn't know who the heir would be to begin with, and since I know you're dying to find that out, to strike at our most vulnerable point ...

Look, you guys do know that you lose, right? I mean, the mere fact that you ... just how stupid are you?

Hrmph. I have better things to do, you know, but very well - I have always done my duty. But I don't see any reason to let you know the heir is until the proper moment, so you'll be reading General Carbon's journal for a while yet.

Last time ended quite abruptly with Lithium's death. A day after that, Carbon became an adult. He is Ambitious, Athletic, Easily Impressed, Slob, Workaholic; his skills are Athletics 9, Handiness 3 (from tutoring), Logic 6, Writing 6, and he already has both the Entrepreneurial Mindset and Multitasker LTRs. That's because he has a lot of work to do - I intend him to lift Military and Alien Technology (via the base game method). His LTW is to be an Astronaut.

With Gamer, Journalism, and Science lifted, I can look through all the jobs on the computer. Military is amongst them; he is now a Latrine Cleaner. Gamer also unlocks 24x7 phone and (with Science) all the computer abilities, so I have him immediately start war dialling his boss (as it's a couple of hours before midnight). The next day, I send him to the library, get Charisma 2, and then resume the war dialling until I'm at friends level. As it turned out, the next day (Week 15, Day 2) was Snowflake Day anyway, so I had an extra day.

I assume you know, though I doubt you believe, that I started off as just a latrine cleaner. I earned my stripes, and everything that went with them - and you must know this. You have never won any significant battle with our forces, and that is down to my strategic vision.

Oxygen is Ambitious, Artistic, Genius, Good, Schmoozer, and Workaholic (bonus from Rebel 10); his skills are Athletic 4, Painting 5, Street Art 9, Writing 4, with a LTW of Street Credible. With his Rebel 10 I have him check the computer and grab Art Appraiser.

His twin Nitrogen is Ambitious, Disciplined, Genius, Schmoozer, Slob; skills are Athletic 9, Logic 7, Writing 6. LTW is Super Popular, and he joins the Fortune Teller career. While this does run into a Graduation Day issue, I managed (via City Hall/Charisma/Wardial) to get the necessary boss friendship in time. This, incidentally, was the main reason I wanted to lift Gamer early.

But battle is merely a tactic. We weren't out to win a war - we didn't want a war. We were trying to make things better - it's true, a certain level of ruthlessness was occasionally required, but mainly it was about making sure that the best people rose to the top.

Yes, we are the best people. Deep down, even you pukes must know that. We set out to bankrupt the mob with Oxygen, and bust their control of the unions. To make sure they were completely gone, we also got Nitrogen to con the rest of the mob out of all their assets. What would you have done? That's a rhetorical question - we know what you would have done. You're not special - the city was full of your ilk. They all hunkered down and hoped that trouble would just pass them by - it is only we Elementals that actually fixed anything. You don't like our methods? Tough cookies, sunshine - the world isn't all puppies and rainbows.

It's not just that we're braver than you. We're also prepared to humiliate ourselves. Fluorine, under the guise of becoming an acrobat, tested our muscle repair magic. Neon took a more direct route - by becoming a stage magician, she took on the role of unlocking more of our cosmic power. Did you see some of clothes those two wore? Oh, I assure you, we get the album out frequently.

But you pukes have no sense of humour, and in the end - more than the attempts on our lives - that is the thing I really cannot abide.

I had a spot of luck for Carbon on his second real work day (Week 15, Day 6); after less than an hour at work, there was an explosion at the base that got him promoted. I'm assuming that was an Athletics thing; he did have Athletics 10 by that point. He used the rest of the day at the library learning Handiness 10.

When the other two age up, I give Fluorine the Technophobe trait (so that he can sabotage stuff for Carbon to fix - the Electrician challenge is part of Alien Technology), which gives him Athletic, Brave, Inappropriate, Natural Born Performer, Technophobe. His skills are Logic 6, Writing 8 (deliberately no Athletics, though childish hopscotch gives him an immediate 3 as soon as he starts a workout - which I will do once he is in Acrobat).

Neon is Charismatic, Inappropriate, Loves the Outdoors, Natural Born Performer, Slob, and already has the LTW of Master Magician. Her skills are Athletics 9, Logic 6, Writing 6.

Unfortunately, had an unfortunate glitch. Whenever Fluorine tried to perform on stage, he glitched out and got reset. So I was left with performing for tips at home, and raising his Athletics skill. I know from prior experience this is a perfectly valid way to lift, but it wasn't really ideal. When Neon glitched out the next day, I checked the stage and managed to reset it, after which both acts were OK.

I find it especially interesting that you favour time travel so much. It's extremely dangerous to use time travel to accomplish your ends - something you use if you are desperate. I can only conclude you really are that desperate, and find your present situation hopeless, or else that you do not realise the danger.

Let us deal with the mundane dangers first. You're coming into a time where our control is not absolute, yes, but it is still considerable. Your pitiful attempts at forged identity papers will never fool us - we have Oxygen, who has forgotten more about forgery than all of you will ever know.

Interestingly enough Oxygen wins the race. You get a lot of days off in Military, so even with my genetic resequencing to improve Carbon's traits (to Ambitious, Inappropriate, Schmoozer, Slob, Workaholic) he'll certainly clear the next time he goes to work, but that is still two days away.

In any case, that's Master Thief lifted. It is Week 17, Day 7. A quick run down of the others: Carbon is Top Gun, Nitrogen is a Pseudo-Psychic (will probably need another week to clear, as he won't get promoted today and it's a ThFS only job), Neon is a Spellcaster (will likely clear in another week at the most), and Fluorine is a Fire Dancer (will clear very soon). I haven't popped the lamp yet, or chosen an heir, but I think it will be either Neon or Fluorine, as Neon is still able to perform for tips and (therefore) get Magician promotions even while pregnant.

Then there is the fact that the military work for me. They are extremely well trained, extremely loyal, and consider your kind to be worthless traitors - given a free reign, you'd never see the inside of a prison cell. Fortunately for you I am usually restrained by Mum here, but she cannot be everywhere.

We are prepared to make sacrifices, to summon pure untainted blood into probable suffering, all with our eyes on the bigger picture. We lost a lot of battles, but we won the war.

Military lifted, which is also his LTW, and also the first step in Alien Technology. I now have complete freedom of jobs, lack of curfew, and mostly freedom to walk around (though I need escorts for non-network Visitors Allowed lots). It is Week 18, Day 2.

It's time to make some calculations. I need 4 more large tombstones. Oxygen would need another 60k, and he's generating frequent street art related wants that make it seem likely he'll make it reasonably easily. Carbon needs another 48k, but he's going to hang around anyway to get Alien Technology. So both of those are likely candidates.

The others... well, I need to know who the heir is, clearly. Logically, the best male choice is Carbon, since he will definitely be around for a while, and there's only one female choice. While Carbon joins Science and becomes a business partner everywhere, I have Neon rub the lamp:

The clever ones have already guessed it - the reason I'm writing this treatise instead of my siblings is that I am indeed the heir. The most capable of my generation, I like to think, though I'm sure the others would reply I was merely the eldest. Do you think I wanted Rachel to suffer? But she had to suffer - for the good of all realms.

A female genie. Convenient, for story purposes. And allows me to view Neon and Fluorine as "move outable", since their comparatively low LTR totals (both need another 100k, which admittedly they will get a chunk of with their LTW) means that I'd have to have them hang around too long.

I notice many of you don't even take basic safety precautions. We change the layout of the house - or at least we have since Fluorine worked out an appropriate strength spell - and it can be quite unsettling to have to clean up the messes some of you make. Our own teleporters have safety features to prevent this sort of thing - you really ought to try stealing them. I'll leave a few clues, just to make it a bit more challenging for us - mustn't get complacent.

Athletics cleared, and as you can see I have now built my "politics house" - phase 1, at least, since I can't get the cool stuff until Architect removes the price limit. Fluorine immediately buggers off, and I have Carbon finish the Free The Genie quest.

I hope, as you read this, you're dining well. All that lovely food that you eat - that's all because of Rachel. She is the one that figured out how to make our food summoning spells work - after she'd worked out a charm to steal my heart, of course.

Rachel is Charismatic, Great Kisser, Green Thumb, Handy, Loner. She has no skills, and she has the LTW of Super Popular, that I'll need to change. She wants to join Culinary - I can deal with that, so be it. With her becoming pregnant this looks like a good place to halt for now.

There are now 10 restrictions lifted (Athletic, Business, Education, Gamer, Journalism, Master Thief, Politics, Science, Symphonic). I have collected 11 unique books (that can easily be sorted though; I just haven't bothered with the mass bookcases trick yet). I have completed 13 skill challenges (all 5 Charisma challenges, Athletics Body Builder and Fitness Nut, Handiness Plumber, Logic Professor and Teacher Extraordinaire, Painting Proficient Painter and Brushmaster, and Writing Specialist Author), 10 unique lifetime wants (Become Astronaut, Become Master Acrobat, Illustrious Author, Perfect Mind Perfect Body, Professional Author, Renaissance Sim, Star News Anchor, Street Credible, Super Popular, The Tinkerer), and 11 of my Sims have Athletics 10 (Oxygen doesn't yet, nor does Rachel obviously). I have one large tombstone, 3 unique gnomes (graduation, bitter trotter, cranstan), and have used 0/10 aging off days.

Along with my prestige bonuses (uni start, occult) that makes my current score 135 from a "maximum" of 255, so I have to find another 80 points. The low hanging fruit here is 15 more from restrictions (including Alien Technology), 9 more for books, 7 more skill challenges, 5 more LTWs, 12 more from tombstones, and 10 from cash. That leaves 12 points I'll still have to find; the quickest way to get those is doubtless training Sims in Athletics, but we'll see.

The Wall Street Journal: Lithium

In the early days, of course, our fertility magic was not fully developed. It's not true that all our births were multiple - these stories are exaggerated. Or possibly you are all just lying liars - that possibility certainly occurred to me, though what benefit you obtain from trying to imply we were all magically fecund escapes me.

When we left off, I'd just set up spring, figuring that I can play computer games to restore Fun. Helium and Beryllium are both hanging around just to get their LTW (so they both quit their jobs as soon as they would otherwise have to go to work - this is legal, as they've topped their restriction).

I have scoured your literature about Carbon. I can only surmise that something must be encoded within it, using a cipher that we have yet to break, because otherwise I would be forced to assume you idiots had no idea what you were talking about. While such an assumption has certainly been justified with every single one of you we have interrogated, I am optimistic that there is a mastermind out there that is merely pretending to look stupid.

Sometimes, you get 2 sets of triplets from two pregnancies. Sometimes, despite working out for 31 hours to Kids music, you only get a single. Meet Lithium's son Carbon, who got Easily Impressed assigned and I took Slob as the other. (I'm not sure what controls whether you pick both traits; in this case, her mood was never low, but of course it had to be a home birth).

Of course we all understand why you hate Boron. Who wouldn't hate high availability of consumer goods at affordable prices? Of course your poorly thought out neo-anarchist communes produce far superior quality and quantity of goods - rest assured, I pay no attention to the scurrilous rumours that you sneak into our stores and buy our goods whenever you are hungry, or bored, or need any of the myriad of products that your own parasitic society cannot provide. Why, the fact that Boron's control of industry came with a blood sacrifice shouldn't impress you at all.

Business cleared, Week 10, Day 6. Should have been the day before, but I had him Hold Meetings all day reasoning that the tiny bit of the bar still to fill would be filled - I was wrong, and it wasn't, so today he Worked Hard. Mostly because he had poor metrics. Having already fulfilled his LTW, I took a look at his total points: 76k, can't be bothered getting that to 150k. It's Rant About Death time. Timing is good; Dominique has 2 days off, which means by the time he's back at work he'll have gotten over it.

In the end, that marks the important difference between your pathetic little bands and our society that you claim to despise. We are prepared to sacrifice to achieve our goals. Our family tree is a graveyard - and none of us knew the way back when we willingly journeyed to the netherworld. Whereas you little snots crumble at the faintest hint of loss - you surrender too easily. Many amongst us suggest you are little more than a joke - I am considered, by some of my family, to be wasting more time on you than you warrant. That's probably because for me it really is personal.

Beryllium gets Professional Author, and then dies. Death has no sense of humour.

Helium might take a bit longer, because I'm having him teach Carbon the toddler skills (Lithium is too busy working out).

This time, I got twins - but they're both boys.

Nitrogen and Oxygen. How many of your suicide squads tried to take them out? I certainly lost count - but to be fair, once was enough to make all of your kind my eternal enemies. And remember how long my kind live, and no that this is no idle boast.

Nitrogen is Disciplined Slob, Oxygen is Genius Good. (I didn't pick Disciplined or Good).

While pregnant with the next child, Lithium got the Fitness Nut challenge.

Every night, you see Dominique bring you the news. I feel this must be very frustrating for you. Perhaps worse than the rare report of your cells being roundly defeated and taken to our re-education centres is the fact it is rare. Most of the time, we do not report on you at all. That is because you do so very little worth reporting on.

Really, what I do is a kindness - I'm really just putting you out of your misery. Though I appreciate you probably do not feel like thanking me.

Journalism lifted, and incidentally that was also his LTW. Quite handy because now he can take over toddler training and let Helium get back to his own LTW.

I was getting a little anxious with 3 boys in a row, because with my luck in this game you just know that the lamp genie is going to be male. But fortunately:

My last two children - in many ways, my most precious. I was far too busy with fertility magic to really play a big part in raising Carbon, Nitrogen, or Oxygen, but I finally had a girl in Neon and I probably spoiled these two. Doubtless you believe that if I'd been a little stricter then perhaps they would never have grown up to do what they did - but I am not a despot. My children led their own lives, and with my complete approval. You just refuse to see the big picture.

Fluorine is Athletic, Brave; Neon (at last a girl!) is Loves the Outdoors, Slob. It is Week 11, Day 5. I should point out that Carbon is now a child, too.

A few days later I had 3 children and 2 fully trained toddlers, plus Helium finally got his LTW.

You will never know the horror of our own private graveyard - indeed, death will likely never touch you. And that is all our doing. It must grate, to know that the very tools you are using to try and resist us are products of our ingenuity, our selflessness, our sacrifice.

And some days later I had a full house of children.

As Carbon (now Ambitious, Athletic, Easily Impressed, Slob) transitioned to teen on Week 12 Day 7...

As my children became old enough to go to school, and then old enough to go to high school, the frequency of your attempts on their lives began to increase. It seems some of you have ethical problems killing babies, but less of a problem killing children, and less still teenagers.

Of course, we invented time travel, so we were more than prepared for your pitiful assassination attempts. Our sanctum sanctorum cannot be accessed by time travel for anyone not of the bloodline. And all of our bloodline is temporally shielded.

I'm afraid if you want to kill us, you'll have to do it the old fashioned way.

... it was time to start planning. With Journalist, Science, and Gamer all lifted, I have considerable flexibility in job selection via the computer. I decide to put Carbon in charge of Alien Technology (base game method) and Military. Oxygen will lift Master Thief via Art Acquisition (Acquisition). Nitrogen will lift Criminal via Fortune Teller (Scam Artist). Fluorine will lift Athletics via Acrobat (so it is imperative that I do not work on Athletics at all as a teen for Fluorine). Neon will lift Paranormal via Magician.

These may seem strange choices - I still haven't lifted Culinary or Medical. By prioritising Criminal, I can get the Moodlet Manager; with Paranormal, I can get rid of the annoying ghosts. And Athletics will allow me to build my "politics house".

But you will have to be swift, if you wish murder rather than suicide. We shed a lot of blood; it was hard to have to order Dominique, but I knew I would see him again in the netherworld all too soon.

With 0 days to go, I finally got Dominique to Athletics 10 before immediately send him out to rant. He beat old age by hours at best. It is Week 14, Day 4, and Lithium has 2 days to go before she becomes an elder. She has 149 907 LTR points, so she should be my first perfect death.

Week 14, Day 5 looks like the best time to get rid of her. Lithium is my first perfect ghost (ranting); Carbon is 2 days away from adulthood, with the rest a bit behind that. I have lost the ability to make food (unless I buy a grill, which I'm not going to do), but I have plenty of food stashed.

Including Lithium, there are now 7 ghosts on the lot, so you can appreciate my desire to get Paranormal lifted.